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GraceFilled Community
The GraceFilled Community Podcast is a place where faith, connection, and community come together. We explore meaningful conversations with guests who share their unique insights, experiences, and stories to inspire and empower others. Each episode offers listeners practical wisdom for living out their faith, creating belonging, and building community. Whether you're looking for spiritual growth or ways to connect deeper with those around you, the GraceFilled Community Podcast provides valuable content that enriches both your personal and spiritual journey.
GraceFilled Community
Butterfly Stitches - Michelle Vrabel's Journey of Overcoming Trauma Through Faith and Community
What if the path to healing from trauma and betrayal was more achievable than you thought? Join us as we explore the profound journey of Michelle Vrabel, an inspiring author who shares her story of overcoming childhood abuse and trauma through faith. Michelle's book, "Butterfly Stitches," serves as a poignant metaphor for her physical and spiritual recovery. Her account encourages listeners to take an active role in their healing journeys, starting from the first moment a wound is inflicted. Michelle's unwavering faith and resilience offer hope and guidance for those seeking to heal from their past.
Michelle opens up about the emotional scars left by infidelity and emotional abuse, which are often more challenging to heal than physical wounds. Her journey reveals unexpected paths to healing through community engagement and storytelling. By sharing her own experiences, Michelle highlights the power of emotional resilience and finding solace in faith. This episode underscores the importance of breaking generational patterns and establishing healthier relationships, emphasizing the transformative guidance of the Holy Spirit. Michelle's candid narrative serves as a testament to the strength found in supportive networks and personal determination.
Finally, we explore the role of faith in healing every aspect of our well-being—mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical. Michelle shares her insights on the divine assistance offered by the Holy Spirit and invites listeners to deepen their spiritual connection through prayer and an understanding of the Trinity. Her personal journey reveals the wisdom gained from studying the Holy Spirit and the enriching impact it has had on her life. We also discuss the principles of the Gracefield Community, inspired by the early Church of Acts, and how they aim to foster a supportive and spiritually guided network for those in need.
My name is Nicole Cater, your host, founder and servant leader of Graceville Community. I want to thank you for tuning in to Graceville Community Podcast. This is a safe space, a place in which we just share stories of how God has touched individuals' lives all across the world and how they are now impacting the kingdom of God. Thank you for tuning in. Blessings to you. Hello Graceville community followers, we are so excited for you to connect with us on today's podcast. As always, I am just overly blessed by the individuals that lend themselves to our podcast to share their stories and how they're impacting community. And so today is like every other in the sense that we have an amazing guest joining us today. I've had a chance to read and understand more about her, her heart, her vision, her story, and I'm so excited for her to share with you guys today. So I will read just a little bit about our guests. Today we have Michelle Vrabel.
Speaker 1:Michelle is an expert bean counter by day, in addition to her work as bookkeeper. Her superpowers and side hustles include pastry chef and author in training, which I would love to try that pastry chef stuff out. She has been told she has sass, which she deploys regularly. She has, with exponential joy, finished her first book, butterfly Stitches, and is working on the sequel. According to her king, she apparently has several other books in her. At 61, she has launched a podcast and is having the time of her life. She is an enthusiastic traveler, foodie, smart aleck and lover of her king, jesus. Michelle lives in Mesa, arizona, with her daughter, who is lovingly known as Peanut. Michelle would love to engage with you through any and all media, as she is also available for speaking engagements and retreats. So, gracefield community, go ahead and join me in welcoming Michelle. Hey, michelle.
Speaker 2:Thank you, how fun. I guess I haven't heard my bio read out loud in a while and I guess I am kind of a smart aleck huh Love it. I mean, hey, well, it's all part of the life we're living and I just look at it because I'm 62. Now I was 61 when I started my podcast. That you know. I don't know if the Lord's going to give me three more years, three more days, 30 more years, and if he is, then I want to take every minute and just like absorb it, because there is a lot of time I wasn't a good steward of when I was younger and so that has a lot to do with my story and my journey, and so I enjoy every bit of this wild ride he's given me. I liken it to being on a roller coaster, in a tornado. You know it's exhilarating, but it's terrifying, but it's.
Speaker 1:Oh, I am right there with you. I say all the time this faith walk is definitely like the roller coaster. I say all the time this faith walk is definitely like the roller coaster. I like to use the scenario to like you know those, um, you go to the fair and they have that boat that like swings you. I don't know what's happened, but ever since I've had kids, it's like everything in my stomach seems to drop and it feels entirely different now. But I'm like that's how life seems to be. It's like, yeah, okay, god you ever get. Oh, okay, absolutely, I love it, okay. Well, I'm so excited to dive in. I would love for our listeners to just hear more about your story and your personal journey. So I first just want to ask, like butterfly stitches, tell us about that. Like, where does that name even come from? How does it connect with you personally? Share your story to the world today.
Speaker 2:Okay, I absolutely believe that. Every bit of my book, the story of course I call it my story, his story, our story, because it is my journey with my king. I believe he gave me the vision for the title, the cover, which I have been told is a bold choice. It's around here somewhere I could hold it up, but anyway. And the title, and it's interesting, it comes from a couple of directions. First of all, I don't know if your listeners know this and I don't want to insult anyone's intelligence, but a butterfly stitch is an actual medical device. It's a bandage and they put it on wounds or cuts that aren't deep enough for actual stitches, so it'll hold a wound together. Now the problem with that is is that it's going to take a little bit longer and you have to participate, you have to keep it clean, you have to change the butterfly stitch. So all of that's a beautiful metaphor that goes with my book and its subtitle the Metamorphosis of Healing. Because with our King Jesus, I believe healing is a process. Because with our King Jesus, I believe healing is a process and I believe it begins at the moment of the wound.
Speaker 2:My story is a two-part memoir.
Speaker 2:I was beaten as a child I was sexually molested. I have had abuse in every area mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically since I was little and I believe from one of the very first beatings I got worst ones when I was two years old that every bit of my healing the Holy Spirit was there Not to intercede because we all understand that free will is running rampant in this particular world but to show me I was created to start healing the moment a wound happens. So when our physical body responds like if we're cut, you know it starts coagulating and a scab starts forming so we don't bleed out Then mentally we're kind of going all right, what's going on here? This doesn't make sense. Like if a little kid touches a hot stove, they know, okay, I'm not going to touch that again. So we have that mental discernment to begin that healing process too, to kind of take every experience we encounter and evaluate it for whether or not we understand the good or the bad of it and whether we want that to happen again or not.
Speaker 2:Now does that stop it from happening again. Not necessarily, but at least it helps us start to evaluate and hopefully, at some juncture in our life as we grow, try to avoid those when we have the opportunity to make that decision, as opposed to having it thrust upon us. So butterfly stitches require our engagement. We have to be involved in that process. Our King Jesus is right here, the Holy Spirit's right here. We are going to heal, but it's a process and we need to keep the wound clean, put on the new bandages and stop going back to what caused the wound in the first place when we have the ability to. So that's how that name came about. It also has a very humorous backstory. When I was getting married, I, the song butterfly, kisses. You know that song, butterfly kisses.
Speaker 1:Okay, I might ask you to sing it to remind.
Speaker 2:Oh my, we don't really want that, but it's a song that was written by a Christian artist and he's singing. It's a dad singing about his little girl growing up and then him having to give her away at the end of the song at her wedding. And butterfly kisses are like little kisses that you put on your little baby's forehead or something like that, and so that song was all the rage and everybody was playing it at their wedding. Well, I didn't have a good father, I didn't have someone to give me away like that at my wedding. So I'm hearing this song in my car, I mean literally within a couple of weeks of my wedding, and I am a smart aleck, and so I rewrote in my mind the lyrics to Butterfly Kisses as butterfly stitches, and so it just kind of all comes together.
Speaker 2:I love double meaning things and, uh, that's why that title is that way. That's why on the cover, um, if you'll notice, I have a butterfly stitch bandage over one eye. Um, my niece did does you know? Uh, that type of makeup for you know, like movies or contests or whatever, and so she helped me look like I did, which was wounded, and some people have asked about that too Like were you beaten up as an adult? Because the picture is me as an adult.
Speaker 2:But no, what I'm expressing is that even though those wounds are healing, it doesn't mean we don't carry them into adulthood. You know, and some people carry and hang on to them a little too tight into adulthood. And don't let that healing process start. And that's my prayer with my book is that people can understand. I don't want them to walk away feeling sorry for me or with me because I was a victim. I'm not a victim. I don't sit in that. So I want them to see that in the telling, in the looking back, the Holy Spirit was there and the Holy Spirit began that healing with us. Now we kind of take over the reins sometimes and reopen wounds on our own, but the reality is the healing is there and we can see it if we're willing to do our part, do the work.
Speaker 1:Right, yes, I absolutely love that. I mean I myself have my own, as we all do, right, we all have our own background. We all have our various areas that we experienced trauma. You know, I joke with my children. I'm like I am saving your college fund and I'm also saving your counseling fund. Your therapy, I know that I'm not getting this perfect, so there are going to be some things that you are probably going to want to talk to somebody about.
Speaker 2:We'll get a bulk rate for you by in advance. Yes, yes, that's awesome.
Speaker 1:That's just the reality, and I understand exactly. What you're saying is that you know we have these wounds and I think the first step is always to recognize that, like there are wounds here, it's okay to acknowledge I've been wounded and to sit with God. I mean, one of the questions that I often ask is like God, where were you? Where were you in that moment?
Speaker 1:And let's talk that out right. I love that we have a heavenly father and a Holy spirit that's a comforter right that can sit with us and allow us to have those conversations, to give it all to him, and so I'm so excited for what you offer in this book. I do have to ask the moment you decided to write this book, what was the catalyst Like? What caused you to say I'm going to release this, Not me.
Speaker 2:Right, not me, I was. It was a while ago. Now I say I say 10 years, but that was five years ago, so it's probably been about 15 years. I was in the middle of a Bible study in Isaiah I was still married at the time and the Lord just said we were dipping into Esther and going back and forth, and some of the things that were being said were bringing me to tears and I was trying to figure out what was going on there.
Speaker 2:And the Lord I believe that I hear him audibly. I have people like poo, poo that even believers and I'm like okay, maybe if you were sitting in the room with me you wouldn't be hearing him. But I'm telling you that I hear him audibly, not every time he answers me. Sometimes it's different ways, but there are times when and I think some of it is because we've dispensed with subtlety I'm just, you know, I'm the kid that needs to get hit over the head with a brick, you know, get a clunked on the head. My girlfriend and I call it getting a slap in the face. You know, we just, we just need, you know, that little extra.
Speaker 2:So anyway, I audibly, you know, heard him say now it's time, it's time to tell your story. And when he did that originally I thought okay, this is just for me, so I can live with that. I didn't panic, I didn't freak out. I thought this is just for me, although I do feel, like a lot of people who've come up to me since telling my story, that you initially are a little afraid to write it down because, wait, what if somebody else sees it? You know, if this is just for me, how do I do this and keep it just for me? You know, I didn't have a laptop that I was going to put on. Literally, I started writing by hand and then eventually moved to a laptop.
Speaker 1:But I didn't ask for this.
Speaker 2:My daughter's going to Arizona State University to be a writer and she, I think, has a novel already in the works and she has a book of poetry.
Speaker 2:All that, Not me, not what I wanted not some lifelong dream, no, so, anyway, I go a couple of years where I'm just kind of like, you know, just getting it out there, not editing it, just writing stuff down, just kind of like, you know, just getting it out there, not editing it, just writing stuff down. And then my marriage went through some. The stuff I was going through got more intense, it got crazy and I kind of it kind of got put on the back burner, which is not what the Lord wanted for me, but he isn't, wasn't surprised by what was happening in my life. And, um, we come to the end of my marriage and now I'm really'm really.
Speaker 2:The wounds of my childhood have been ripped back open. I'm raw. I'm laying out, literally laying on the floor of my living room before the Lord, because I thought the infidelity was bad enough, but who my ex became during the divorce was very upsetting. I was unrecognizable and I just had to, you know, be where he wanted me to be in, that prostrate and, let you know, letting go, letting go of thinking that I was in control, that I was protecting myself, that I was protecting my daughter by staying and, you know, going through all this stuff. So, you know, I I believe that that that calling initially, now I can affirm he has now said okay, here we are, now this is going to work together, not only for you but for others. So buckle up buttercup Time to time to really get it out there. And so I joined some writer groups and got a writing coach, or wrote coaches and uh, moved, moved, the moved the football down the field.
Speaker 1:I love it. You know, one of the things, too, is so true. I mean, even for me, with this podcast and all the things that we do, I mean, graceville community as a whole was never anything that I wanted to do, right, and so I think that it's so. I guess we will say kind and gracious of our Lord to really, though, push us in the sense of because it does take us even through the healing process of another step of healing, because it does take us even through the healing process of another step of healing, when we can share our story, when we can land into someone else and then hear from them like how much it has impacted them. If you know, graceville community didn't make a dime. It's the stories that conform it right, it's the testimonies that come from it. That is really what is, you know, the true reward behind it, and so I'm right there with you and get where it's like. This is not what I necessarily signed up to do.
Speaker 2:Like not even a little bit.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Yep, and the same with when my coaches told me you need to do a podcast because it's an extension of your story and then you can also bring in others and extend that healing process. And I was like what, what I'm not doing, joe Rogan? And they're like well, of course you're not. They're like we know, don't be silly, you've got your community, just talk to them.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, you know, one of the things that you said that I can personally speak to and want to just talk about briefly is the trauma that actually occurs after infidelity, right, and so my husband and I we do a Graceville marriages, we do a lot of marriage counseling, biblical counseling. We have marriage groups of marriage counseling, biblical counseling. We have marriage groups, online marriage community, all kinds of things. And so, coming from that, one of the things that I learned throughout our experience and I see with couples all the time is there's this misconception that emotional abuse is is not as great as a physical abuse, when the reality is that emotional abuse is often much harder to heal from, because it's not, like, you know, if we and this is not to discredit any physical abuse, right absolutely.
Speaker 1:I understand exactly where you're going yes, when we have a physical punch, like, okay, I can put the ice on it, but even in the physical abuse, there's emotional abuse behind it, Like why did this occur? How did we get here? And that's the part that takes the healing process. And so, like you said, even with infidelity there's the emotional abuse, the betrayal that comes from it. You know, in a study they show that people that experience emotional abuse through infidelity say that it's worse than actually the loss of a child and being. I have experienced both. I would attest to it. Is it very much so is. And so I just want to hear from you real quick. Like I know, in the book you discuss the impact of, like physical and emotional abuse. But how did you navigate such an intense experience at such a young age?
Speaker 2:Well, and and I couldn't agree more, um, I've said um and I go through. My book is written in seasons, three different seasons which are timelines of my life, and so the sequel finishes off work up to now with, with my divorce and with my daughter and those kinds of things. But yes, I've said before out loud that the actual physical act of him committing adultery with someone else did not hurt me physically as much as the emotional thought that he had given himself to another person, that someone else took that priority, took that place after we had said those vows. So then, and those emotional scars, physical scars, um, heal. Like you said, the pain stops and over time I don't remember. I mean I remember, but I don't remember. I can't call to mind the pain in my face when I was two years old and my father, open arm, slapped me dozens of times to the point where my face hemorrhaged. I don't, I can't summon that up, but can I summon up how I felt the fact that my daddy did that to me? Absolutely Now, I did not drag that forward and think about it often, any of those components, because back then I'd had no counselors, no doctors, nobody came in and checked on me.
Speaker 2:So a lot of the kind of review of what I went through was with the Holy Spirit. I believe we receive him at salvation, but it doesn't mean he wasn't there beforehand, it doesn't mean he's not our comforter from the before we're knit together in our mother's womb. So I think the emotional and mental scars are are the most difficult to get healed. They really are. It's not that I don't believe my Lord can do it and that my Holy, the Holy spirit can, but with those are the little wounds you go back to when you're like out on a date after you've been divorced and like little hairs may come up and it might be yellow flags and you're tempted because of your emotional scars to just run to a red flag and the situation when that could be a very genuine human in front of you. So those are the healing processes that bring you back to relationship with Jesus about discernment and how to let those emotional wounds heal. But I couldn't agree more. Those, those are probably the toughest.
Speaker 1:Yes, absolutely. And you know, I think about scripture telling us to renew our mind daily Right and even in the component of, like you, allowing the Holy spirit to give us that discernment, because we can. I think our bodies are built right. Flight what is it Flight?
Speaker 2:or flight.
Speaker 1:Our bodies are built to respond one way or another, and it is only through the power of the Holy Spirit allowing us to discern where we are in that moment, right Discern maybe those that we're interacting with and then really sitting with him on. Hey, is this a space that is coming from past trauma, Even though it may have been healed?
Speaker 1:our bodies will tend to naturally respond right. Hey, let's take a quick break to tell you about Grace-Filled Community. Grace-filled Community is an organization that focuses on the primary principles of the Church of Acts, centered around building communities that impact the kingdom of God. We do this through three core extensions. One, graceville Church Network, where we empower churches and nonprofits for God's success and growth. Success and growth we offer tailored growth strategies rooted in biblical principles that will help you expand your reach and impact your communities. Just like the early church, we focus not on attendance and numbers, but on discipleship, providing leadership teachings and trainings to today's ministry leaders. Our second extension is Project of the Grace Field, where we provide biblical counseling, mentorship, workshops and events that are dedicated to encouraging individuals to live a life filled with grace and purpose, rooted in the understanding that all have fallen short and are a working project. Let us help the individuals in your community grow as they walk with God and experience the fullness of his love.
Speaker 1:Our third extension is the grace-filled business. Grace-filled business is here to help small, faith-based business owners develop their business in a way that honors God, that brings increase and allows them to pour back into his kingdom, through marketplace ministry and financing his kingdom. We do this through our 15 years of experience of virtual administrative work, digital marketing, business development and consulting. Welcome back, welcome back, you know. I would say. What we do also see is that when we have these childhood traumas and we are not properly taught like you stated, there was to this, referring the family to this at that time, when we don't have the space and the safe space to properly heal from it, we find that it carries in to adulthood, like you stated. And so my question to you is you know, was there a specific time in your early years that you realized that you had to break a cycle of abuse Like when did that occur for you? How did you get there, not having resources at the time?
Speaker 2:You know that's so fascinating and somebody asked me that a couple of weeks ago on a podcast a mental health professional. I'm like this is the first time, but it is so why I believe so much and so deeply that the Holy Spirit has been working my healing. The thing of the matter is is that around 23, probably, I went on a 10 year stint of where I was going to be in control of who loved me and who who was going to be let in, because I thought me controlling it was going to be better and I had made a couple of decisions I didn't want to talk to the Lord about. But in talking about what you're saying about my childhood and breaking that generational sin because my father was beaten by his father and it was a generational sin that he chose not to break a generational sin that he chose not to break I honestly believe at 14 years old, when I had the discernment and could only could be a God thing.
Speaker 2:Sitting in our car, he was driving us back home from a visitation weekend and I just couldn't do it anymore. Every time we went with him, he would take us, my brothers and I, and jump us off at this house with all these kids and we loved those kids. Actually that was a fun place, but they would leave with the parents, come back staggering drunk and our ride home was just I don't even know the right word for it. It was terrifying and it just got to be to the point where I was like you know what, as much as I love these kids and stuff, I'm not related to them. I can be home with my mom and my grandparents instead of being dumped somewhere else.
Speaker 2:Um, if, if, he supposedly cares about us this much, so I I finally said to him you know I I can't do this anymore. And the thing was he popped the trunk, didn't even get out and get my suitcase out. Want to hug me, want to talk me out of it? Pop the trunk, let us get out. We're on our way. So I never thought of that Honestly again, the rest I mean the rest of my life, until it came time to write this book. My, I can tell you, my ex-husband does not know everything that I've written in this book.
Speaker 2:My brothers didn't know everything that has been written, and they wrote the foreword for the book for me, because we were in the trenches when we were little together. Um, but none of us have repeated this cycle. All of us broke the generational sin, and, and and, and I don't even remember saying it out loud that this was going to be a conscious effort. I really don't. I have an only child, a daughter, and I remember the first time I had to spank her, because I do believe that spank. I know the difference between a spanking and a beating. I've had both, yes, and the first time I had to swallow, I believe in spanking spoil.
Speaker 1:Spare the rod, spoil the child. I'm like we're not sparing rods around here.
Speaker 2:The first time I had to swat her on the bottom a couple of times I I sat her down and I prayed with her and I told her why this was happening. And and then I did it and she's crying and I go out and close the door and I go in the living room and my husband was sitting there because, I mean, I know the difference and he did, he just reinforced. He did reinforce for me. He's like you did not hurt her, you did not, you're not, he didn't even really hurt her, you kind of gathered her attention, whatever. So it was.
Speaker 2:It was a um Holy spirit driven decisions in my life not to let that be a part of any part, not anywhere in my universe. We didn't even have to be set out loud, it didn't have to be a conscious decision, there was not going to be beating, because that isn't what people who love one another do. And if I, if I brought anything forward and and, like I said, that 10 year period and I was making bad decisions, it was because every male in particular from the time I was born up until that point, that said they love me or that should have loved me, didn't? They lied and they did things, devastating things, and so I decided that I was going to like I. My answer to it wasn't to discern and see if somebody meant it when they said they love me. If somebody said they love me, I'm done dating you. Next, I'm done dating you, and I somehow in my little pea brain, thought this was a great way to go. Needless to say, some mental scars and emotional scars were taking a lot longer.
Speaker 1:I mean that makes absolute, absolute sense. I know it sounds like we're laughing, but I can see how that happens, right the moment somebody says I love you like oh, pause, put on the last time.
Speaker 2:Last time somebody said that they were a liar.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, on fire right and you know it's interesting.
Speaker 1:The thought that just came to me was that that reminds me very much of how the enemy will come at us Right, will give us a false pretense on what's really happening, like a false pretense or what God really gave us or what God really said, and try and switch the narrative.
Speaker 1:Imagine, like those gentlemen that maybe said, hey, I love you, and you're like, oh, no, I'm out Versus. There may be one that came along and would have never said I love you and maybe gave and did the things that was expressing red flags and expressing signs, but it was like, okay, because you didn't hit this point that I've created this guard for what? I'm trying to control things. I'm not seeing it in that aspect. I think that's so true of how, why it's important that we do walk through healing with the Holy spirit. Yes, because, especially in this day and age I mean we have social media, we have Google, we have the news media. You know, in addition to it is a society that's very much about okay, self-driven you can easily become deceived, absolutely, in the sense of what you're looking like and are you protecting yourself?
Speaker 1:or have you really let the Holy Spirit heal you to where you trust God? Because it really is a trust walk to even enter back into those spaces, right? I?
Speaker 2:did. I was doing a Bible study when I first started coming back to the Lord and I talk more about that in the second book. The Holy Spirit was drawing me back. But it was funny.
Speaker 2:I was doing this Bible study, I believe it was called In my Father's House and it was talking about how we can sometimes, how our, our relationship is with our earthly father treat our heavenly father. And I was sitting there stubborn as a mule. Nope, never happened, I would never do that. I would never treat God like that. And the whole time I was stiff arming God. I wasn't denying him I acknowledge fully, you know, my salvation, all of that but I was stiff arming him. I was because everyone had said I love you and everyone lied and didn't mean it and, um, I still hadn't learned the lesson that me being in charge of of all of that was not a good thing. I mean I, I.
Speaker 2:I look back and I remember a couple of the young men who had tried to, you know, court me, if you will and they were really decent, kind people who had a good job and, you know, were loving. They didn't beat me, they didn't, you know, they didn't write on me, they didn't lie to me and yet I dissed them and ended up with the cheaters and the liars for the rest of my life. I was like what is wrong with you? How come it took you that long to figure this out? I'm just grateful that my, my Jesus, didn't give up on me. That he didn't give up on me, but he did give up on us, you know, yes, I'm right there with you.
Speaker 1:Oh, so grateful, so grateful, I mean.
Speaker 2:I would have.
Speaker 1:Yes, good thing I'm not gone so many times. I'm like Lord, you still love me Like please tell me why.
Speaker 1:Oh, yes, you know, I think too. I often refer to that and I think that when you see how people are responsive to our Heavenly Father, I do tend to ask, like, what's your relationship with your father? Right, and it could go positive and negative in some sense right. I grew up in a home where my dad had me late and about the age of 11 and 12, my parents divorced and my dad did his best almost in the sense, probably caring from guilt to provide for anything I asked for and so when I got married, my husband grew up in the
Speaker 1:opposite. Yeah, like he was in the opposite, where they had to lack. And so when it came to things like I mean, and it would be good causes, I was just super generous and I would be like, oh, I'm getting to this, I'm gonna get to this. Or I would just like, hey, we're gonna'm getting to this, I'm gonna get to this. Or I would just like, hey, we're going to get this. And he's like, how are you paying for it? I don't know, god will provide.
Speaker 1:And there was this aspect. He's like how can you're like is this faith? Like, how can your faith be so strong? And it got to a point where, thankfully, once again, the Holy spirit opened my spiritual eyes to recognize that that wasn't my challenge with God, because I didn't grow up having that challenge with my heavenly father, but I had other challenges. I had a challenge that, even though my father was actively present in my life, he had left the home, and so I had a challenge of trusting that Lord. When I make a mistake, are you going to leave? And so there's some ways where it can come positive, like, yeah, walk in faith.
Speaker 1:I'm like, yeah, god's going to leave and so there's some ways where it can come positive, like, yeah, walk in faith. I'm like, yeah, god's going to provide, but there are other side. I'm like, oh, I made a mistake. And I go through this bout where, like I don't even feel comfortable talking to you, lord, because I don't feel worthy to have relationship with you, because I don't want to mess it up.
Speaker 2:Or, yeah, you know, I have a girlfriend who, who shared that with me and it was so wild, she's like 40 and had never told anyone not her husband, not her parents that that is how she felt about his departure. And I thought, oh, how sad is that I, that she felt, and again, I just hadn't thought of it my whole life. I was just operating, you know, and so you know she probably could have just looked right across the table and been like pat my hand. No, no, don't worry, you're right in here.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Look, we all look. Yes, yes, I love that. Well, I um, oh man, I feel like time flies by so fast. Like what time goes by when you're having fun, Like you know, one of the things I do want to talk about before we go is just faith and spirituality. I know that I believe faith plays a huge role in our healing. I know that even evidence has shown that when individuals have faith that they're holding on to that, their healing process is faster than one that does not have hope or faith. And so I always say, like I don't know how people do this life without like God, because so many times I'm like that's the only thing that I'm holding on to, right In the chaos of this world. And so I just want to ask you, like how has your relationship with God evolved throughout the years of this healing process?
Speaker 2:That is an excellent question and I truly believe and that's why I wrote my book from seasons of time, but also in sections of emotional, spiritual, mental and physical, because I don't think you can extract them from each other. I think, if you do, I've done the research, I'm a science geek about health and healing and cellular healing. And the top five toxins in the world right now, number one is anxiety, and anxiety affects you mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically, because if you are anxious, you are not trusting. If you are overly anxious, your body is physically reacting to that and there can be good anxiety, like a first date or a first kiss. You know those things. Your body doesn't know the difference. So you've got to you know. Know how to self-regulate with your like emotions and mentally and breathe, how not to eat things or do things that amp up or do something to make matters worse, like some people will drink or whatever. And I'm not getting into the biblical debate about drinking, I'm just saying it does impact your hormones and chemicals, but spiritually, yes, your hormones and chemicals, um, but spiritually, yes, absolutely, because he's our creator, so he's made every system of our body. Have a backup, have a backup, have a backup. We would have to try to die quickly of natural causes, of of like depleting things or deficiencies, because our bodies are just designed to just keep making up for that loss.
Speaker 2:So I do believe that I couldn't have the peace to sit back and be quick to listen and slow to speak if it weren't for the Holy Spirit, if it weren't for my relationship with Jesus, because the loneliness is staggering but I'm not alone. It's just that, that human contact, that that is something that I struggle with still, like emotionally but spiritually, knowing that I spend my mornings now, I did a deep dive on the Holy spirit and so in the morning it, depending on what conversation I'm wanting to have, I'm either talking to the Holy Spirit or I'm talking to my King Jesus or I'm talking to my Abba Father. And this study I started on the Holy Spirit. It was so funny they started off with, first of all, the Holy Spirit isn't an it, it's a he, he's a part of Godhead and so and and that's just been, even though that was something I knew and I acknowledged and I never referred to him as an it it's been a game changer for my conversations in the morning and just understanding that his part in creation, his part in delivering the power that raised Christ from the dead, his part in delivering wisdom and knowledge and courage to us.
Speaker 2:If we didn't have that, you're healing. You're right, healing of any kind is just gone, and so I have enjoyed thoroughly, I've gone. This study is taking me through every single scripture in the Bible that uses the, the Holy spirit, in it, and it has been eyeopening because I've read through the Bible multiple times. But it's funny how, when you're reading through for time, I got it done in six months, um, but that you, uh, um you. When you slow down and you take a good look at what you're looking at like an inductive study of the Holy spirit, if you will it. It just takes healing to an exponential level.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, oh, man, such good conversation.
Speaker 1:You know, as we talk about the Holy spirit, I find it I shouldn't say funny, but I find things humorous and I recognize I'm like God is a humorous God.
Speaker 1:I mean, we're creating his image and I have humor, so clearly he's humorous as well. But when I, often when I pray, especially publicly and in my prayers I did, I too did a study about the different persons of God the father, christ and the Holy spirit. And so I remember doing that study and I remember just hearing, like how come you don't acknowledge the Holy spirit when you talk to me? He would like to talk to and I like, oh, okay, and so in my prayer time I, I do, I acknowledge like heavenly father, I acknowledge Christ and his sacrifice and his you know, aspect of interceding and being there on my behalf. I acknowledge the holy spirit for guiding me and being my comforter, and discernment and so forth. And so I love it that when I pray publicly and sometimes you see people like I literally see them, or you hear the gas and like who is she praying to? I'm like it's, it's the same in one, yet three persons. It's okay, guys.
Speaker 2:And they're very specific, while they don't divert from the character of God. It is very different. The Holy Spirit, if you see in scripture, if you are being imparted power, if you are being imparted wisdom or understanding, it says by the Holy Spirit. And so why not? You know, it's not that I'm wanting to circumvent God or Jesus, but like I've asked him recently, you know I've said I get it. The human race is barely using 10 percent of our brain. Holy spirit, could you and I get together and maybe tap a little bit of them?
Speaker 2:right because I could really use some of that look.
Speaker 1:I'm about to add that to my conversation with him.
Speaker 2:Can we just dip over here a little bit? Yeah, yes, I'd like Jordan, kind of kind of smart. When I watch him sometimes on his podcast, I mean he'll say something and I'm like, oh my God, that's exactly what I think about God or or about some concept. But I would have, I, I, those words would have never crossed my lips. I'm like, where did that come from? And I I've joked that I would love to get him on my podcast, but then I feel like all it would do is ultimately show how stupid I am.
Speaker 1:I'd be like, oh, my God. Well, you know, hey, I, I feel like I host this podcast. I learn so much because even when you were explaining, like the butterfly stitches, I'm like, oh, that makes sense, you're not insulting me, I needed to know that Learn something new every day.
Speaker 2:That's what I think.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yes, no, you're so.
Speaker 1:Right though I think about Acts 1 and 8, and it literally says right, but you will receive power when the holy spirit comes on you and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria and all the ends of the earth. But when I think about that, you know, I think there there's a caveat there, right, like the first part of that says you'll receive power when the holy spirit comes upon you and then you'll be my witnesses. So I think even the aspect of like, we can't properly be a witness if we don't allow the Holy Spirit to come and be the power that drives us even in our healing. Because if we think about it, like what we're witnessing, what our witness is the sharing of our testimony, right, it's by the blood of our testimony, it's by the lamb, it's by the testimony that we witnessed, and so we wouldn't be able to do that if we didn't have the power of the Holy spirit to walk us through those healing processes so that we can be a witness for him into all the earth. Right.
Speaker 2:You can't export what you haven't imported.
Speaker 1:Yes, I love that. Yes, oh, yes, absolutely. Okay, I'm going to tell you right now this is probably going to be a clip. I love that you can't export what you have not imported. Absolutely, absolutely. Oh my goodness. Well, I just want to say, michelle, thank you again so much. I have truly, truly enjoyed our time. I feel like there's so much more that we could talk about, from generational trauma and so much, but, as we already knew when we started, we're like time's going to go by so fast and so I'm willing to come back again when the second book comes out.
Speaker 1:I would love that. Yes, absolutely. I would love that. We are, as always, going to provide in the show notes for you listeners how you can stay connected to Michelle, how you can get her book, but I also want her to tell you here, Okay.
Speaker 2:Yes, it's available on Amazon and Barnes and Noble. The name of the book is Butterfly Stitches the Metamorphosis of Healing and on my website, which is easier to remember, it's michellebrablecom. There is a link for both Amazon and Barnes Noble and also my podcast on there, which I expound on some other items from the book as well.
Speaker 1:Awesome, I love it. Michelle, I'm excited to hop on Amazon and get my own copy, and thank you again for joining us at Graceville community. I look forward to having you back. I'm holding you to that. Okay, absolutely, I'm on board. Sign me up, yes, yes, I love it. Well, graceville listeners, as always, we thank you for tuning in and our hope and prayer is that this episode has impacted you in a positive way in the light in which you see our Father, jesus Christ, and our Holy Spirit. Thank you so much for tuning in today. Blessings to you all. Thank you for tuning in to today's episode of Graceville Community Podcast. We would like to invite you to visit gracefieldcommunitycom.
Speaker 1:Gracefield Community is all about doing church the way Church of Acts did, using five main principles that we see in the Book of Acts. Sharing resources, as believers pooled their possessions and resources to support those in need, as we see in Acts 2.44. Through hospitality the early Christians practiced hospitality by opening their homes to others, as we see in Acts 2 and 46. By financial aid the church in Antioch sent financial aid to believers in Judea during a time of famine, as described in Acts 11 and 29. Prayer and encouragement they supported each other through prayer and encouragement, as we see in Acts 4 and 24. And finally, spiritual guidance. The apostles and elders provided spiritual guidance and teaching to help strengthen and build the community, as we see in Acts 1530. I would like to encourage you. If any of those areas are areas in which you are in need or can contribute, please reach out to Graceville Community. We are working together across the world with ministries and individuals alike to help bring back the Church of Acts.
